4,105 Days

for Chris 

I’ll talk as myself, thanks
and if that means I’m being brave
then let the years make of me
what I’ve never been before.
In order to gain momentum, I shift my weight
from front to back,
working up a bounce so that I can launch
onto my 13 year
coin. To Thine Own Self Be True curves around the edge
of the coin, just like it did
in year one.
On our 4,000+ day
it occurs to me.
All sound dwindles to the white noise of a box fan in the hallway.
Stacks of numbers stack against us. 
My breath catches.
We are mostly
essential to each other. We are
inside of our story’s long version.
We learn
the rules and then break them.
Then we learn the broken rules.
I spin on the thing
until I’m upright again,
our point of origin.